A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the>way to church service,"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he
turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked it up
and looked at it closely. It
was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages.
"Momma, look what I
found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother
asked.
With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, "It's Adam's
suit!!
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The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, and as he preached,
he moved briskly about
the platform, jerking the mike cord as he went.
Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly
tripping before jerking it
again. After several circles and jerks, a little girl in the third pew
leaned toward her mother and
whispered, "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?"
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Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother Joel were sitting
together in church. Joel giggled,
sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough.
"You're not supposed to talk out
loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of
the church and said,
"See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
how you and God are
alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No,how are we
alike?" "You're both old," he
replied.
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A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming
quite knowledgeable about
the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which
Virgin was the mother of
Jesus? The virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"
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A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready
to discuss the last
one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie
raised her hand, stood tall, and
quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
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I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's
Prayer.
For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines
from the prayer. Finally, she
decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end
of the prayer:
"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail.
Amen."
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A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the
aisle, he would take two
steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing the crowd, he would put
his hands up like claws
and roar. So it went, step, step, ROAR, step step, ROAR, all the way
down the aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by
the time he reached the
pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed
from all the laughing, and
was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what
he was doing, the child
sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear
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One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was "acting up" during the
morning worship hour.
The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew
but were losing the battle.
Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up
the aisle on his way out. Just
before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to
the congregation, "Pray for
me! Pray for me!"
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And one particular four-year old prayed, "And forgive us our trash
baskets as we forgive those
who put trash in our baskets."
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One student's prayer: "Now I lay me down to rest, And hope to pass
tomorrow's test. If I should
die before I wake, That's one less test I have to take."
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A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better
boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."
